Hermione's Review Show
by Merry
Summary: Hermione, Harry, and Ron review today's fantasy books including lotr, star wars, and ella enchanted. Just for fun. :)


I believe that since Hermione is a avid reader, she'd probably read muggle books to. So now, we hear her reviews and Ron's and Harry's just for the fun of it. Also I really hate writing in the script form , but I didn't know how else to do it! Sorry!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nada.   
  
Hermione: Hi! Welcome to Hermione's corner where we review all different kinds of books. Yes all kinds! Even muggle ones, which is the focus of our show today. We have two special guest reviewers as well! My two best friends Harry Potter and Ron Weasly!  
  
Harry: Hello. I'm here on this show to prove that I read other books beside quidditch books.   
  
Ron: Hullo. I'm here not just because I LOVE to read *pasted smile*, but because Hermione threatened to stop helping me with homework.  
  
Hermione: Ron, just be quiet. Anyways, on with the show! First book on our list, ahh the ever-popular Lord of the Rings. Well in my opinion, Lord of the Rings is an excellent novel! Although, Gandalf and Saruman have some nonsense powers. Who does spells with a staff now a days? Staffs weren't even used by the old warlocks in the past time. Where Tolkien came up with this? I have no idea. This is an obvious reason why he's a muggle.   
  
Harry: I have to agree with the staff thing. Its not like a wizard can stick a staff in their robe pockets! Imagine the inconvenience! Otherwise, the story is really exciting. All the battling was almost as good as a game of quidditch. Two thumbs up.  
  
Ron: What are you talking about Harry? Two thumbs up? Your odd sometimes you know that?  
  
Harry: It's a muggle movie rater thing!  
  
Ron: Ya ya. Just making up things to cover up your mistakes. Well I thought that it was a very long book. Very long three books! I made it through however, and I found that Middle Earth seems like a horrid place to live in. All the battles and orcs *shudder*. It would be wicked to be Legolas though! He's the best character and one hell of an elf.  
  
Hermione: Yes Ron, we can all image you in tights with long blond hair.   
  
Ron: Hey... Now what's that supposed to mean?  
  
Hermione: Ahm. Now on to the next novel, Star Wars. Yes originally this is movie, but I forced Harry and Ron to read the books instead.  
  
Harry: And Hermione doesn't mean just the first one. We had to read all five of the books! Episodes one through six minus the third one.  
  
Hermione: Its good for you!   
  
Ron: Well, it was a bit odd. The whole force concept didn't make sense to me and the midi chlorian bit was weird. "There are living organisms". That Qui Gon Jin guy needs help. Living organisms inside us?! Useless git.  
  
Harry: Ron, it wasn't that bad. I mean could you lift a space ship with your psychic abilities?  
  
Ron: No, but I bet you I could with my wand!  
  
Harry: Well, it would have better if Obi-Wan didn't die, but Darth Vader and his creepy mask pulling off deal was undefeatable I guess.   
Hermione: Is that all you guys have to say for an epic that made millions and millions?   
  
Ron: Well if we saw the movie, maybe I would have enjoyed it more!  
  
Hermione: Well I thought it was interesting to see how George Lucas interpreted magic. Besides master Yoda sounds wise.  
  
Ron: Sounds like Dobby without the sniffling.  
  
Hermione: The point is, it was a thoughtful and creative story! The whole Anakin turning to the dark side was so amazing.   
  
Harry: Turning to the dark side... Sounds like Voldemort.  
  
Ron: *cringe* Let's not talk about him.   
  
Hermione: Fine, next book. Ella Enchanted! Ella Enchanted is a delightful children's tale involving romance and far away lands.  
  
Ron: Too much romance. I gagged.  
  
Harry: Ron, it was very sweet the way Ella protected prince Char. I wish someone would do that for me.  
  
Ron: You're a hopeless romantic. Moving on to my review. Gnomes cannot tell the future! All their good for is chucking! They also are thankfully not "wide" and human sized. If they were, chores would be extremely difficult.  
  
Harry: *snort* Yup, that's true. The fairy thing was abnormal too. I thought faeries were small enough to be used as ornamental decorations?  
  
Hermione: You guys don't have to be so critical! Besides Gail Levine Carson, the writer of this book, is a witch! She writes all this nonsense to confuse muggles.  
  
Ron: rright...  
  
Harry: I'm not a hopeless romantic..  
  
Ron: Love can't be found at our ages. It just comes to us.  
  
Harry: *angrily storms* Well fine then! Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession over love (hidden Moulin Rouge joke)! *walks out*  
  
Hermione: I'm sorry. My reviewers are on a rampage. Join me next time for our reviews on the latest sci-fi including matrix, x-men, and much much more!  
  
Ron: Why didn't we do that for Star Wars!  
  
Hermione: Because I said so. *walks out as well*  
  
Ron: hmph  
  
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I wrote this because I needed a break from all serious aspects in life. Thank you for reading it though. Hope it brought some amusement. :) 


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